The Older I Get

There are some down sides to getting old as we all know, but there are some  advantages as well.

Some. Not a lot.

I need to keep reminding myself of this, lest I fall into the evil pit of stressing over wrinkles, sag and the inability to turn a cartwheel without injuring myself.

So what’s the upside to reaching middle age? Well, I can only speak for myself. Coming up with a list of 6 was a stretch.

Here goes:

  1. You get to watch your kids grow into beautiful, funny, talented people. This makes up for  the oldness/crankiness/inflexibility you’re observing in yourself.
  2. You wonder in awe Where did they get their awesome sense of humor, silky hair and beautiful smiles?  Then you remember and take credit for a job well done.
  3. You don’t really care what people think of you anymore and you aren’t afraid to tell them.
  4. You know that the little things in life are important. You know which little things to cherish and which ones to forget as quickly as possible.
  5. You’re more comfortable being completely yourself. Pretending is exhausting and not worth the effort.
  6. You’ve quit worrying that everyone else is right and you are wrong. You know damn well, from experience, that they are wrong and you are right.

I think there is clarity with age about what precisely needs changing and what needs to be embraced.

For example, I used to have this problem.  I would  walk away from all kinds of relationships and situations without explanation. Some may call this running away. I call it peacefully removing myself from extreme discomfort.

It’s not a problem anymore. I’ve decided I like being this way.  (Note: according to Myers-Briggs, this is absolutely typical for my personality type.)

It’s kind of fun. And simple.

I’ve walked out of jobs mid day. I’ve walked away from  relationships and friendships without saying a word.  Seriously, if the people I walk away from can’t figure out why, then they’re the ones with the problem.

and sweet’s the air with curly smoke
from all my burning bridges. – Dorothy Parker

Don’t worry about the fires. You aren’t crossing that way again.

The jobs I left were painfully boring. Another minute would have killed me.  And the people?  Simple. I caught a lie or  more likely 10, because I am the queen of second chances.  Or maybe they were constantly critical of everyone, everywhere or tried to tell me what to do too often. Pay attention when people tell you what to do. It will illuminate how little they know you, which means they haven’t been listening. In my world, that’s worse than sloth, gluttony and watching football.

Okay. Listen, I’m very easy to get along with.  I am. Life is too short to waste at a job that makes you insane or with people who are no damn good for you.

I hope you don’t mind me saying so.

Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.  – Dr. Seuss

 

About Amy

Professional freelance writer. Homeschool mom of three girls. Introvert and rebel. Life learner. Coffee addict.

  • Stacy Harris

    I think that this is a great post… I was looking for the harshness and frankly I haven’t found any. In my old age… ahem… I have learned that the older you get the more you realize the imporance of quality of quantity. When I was younger I always wished I was popular, because they seemed to have an abundance of friends. Yet, the handful of close friends I had… well, let’s just say I have been away from school for awhile and they are still around. Sure – we might have lost touch, but we always found a way back to each other. That is true friendship. You also have a tendency to realize the nature of people. It sickens me to say that I have known too many fake people that do stuff just to impress others. As an adult, I don’t find that amusing and I walk… run… away from these people as fast as I can if I can! Great job on your post… I loved it!

  • JanineHuldie

    Amy, absolutely awesome and can very much relate. I too must have a similar personality and have walked away from lying friends and boring jobs, that is why I am now very content from writing at home and having my husband, kids and few select friends. So I truly couldn’t have said it better myself :)

  • Amy

    Oh, thank you Stacy! Obviously, I haven’t truly stopped worrying what people think…because I was worried that this was too harsh! I’m working on it. :) I think it was a really big deal to let go of people that weren’t good to have in my life and I used to feel so bad about it. I agree though – a handful of great people is so much more important than tons of fair weather friends.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1482519495 Dianna Mendez

    Amy, I enjoyed your post here. I find getting older is much more enjoyable since I have discovered how life gets better with time. I am comfortable being myself now, you are right on that!

  • Emily (OhBoyMom)

    Amy, This was a great post. Love those 6 you listed. I didn’t think this felt harsh at all. it felt real and honest and positive! I read plenty of blog posts filled with negativity (including my own!) and yours was a nice change.

  • Melanie Chisnall

    Yes!! Everything you’ve written makes sense and I found myself nodding the whole way through. Life is too short, pretending is too hard. The saying by Dr. Suess is one of my favourites. I’ve also left jobs that were boring or too stressful, and I’ve also said goodbye to friends because I couldn’t be “me” around them, and if I was they couldn’t relate. That’s not friendship. Great post! :)

  • http://twitter.com/angiecmiller74 Angie Miller

    I love slipping into this new perspective myself. And some mornings I feel too obsessed with getting older–the white hairs and the growing hips…I’m not okay with it. But when I can have a quiet night with my husband b/c the kids are all at friends’ houses or when I can go for a run by myself b/c everybody can stay home by themselves or when I go visit my daughter at college and see how she can take care of herself…that is all so rewarding & I suddenly like getting older!

  • http://twitter.com/Meetmyhusband Cari Lorine

    Great post, Amy! It’s nice to be reminded that it’s okay to be an individual and say what you think and mean. Life moves at such a fast pace, it’s easy to let it get away from us.

  • oambitiousone

    First: Dorothy Parker — one of the authors I found through my grandmother (1904 – 1993). “If I Had A Shiny Gun” is one of the few things I know by heart. Parker’s gently sardonic nature matches up with me, somehow. I don’t say those things, but I think them.

    Also wondering about your type. I, too, have reached a point longinto a venture where I realized “I’m done.” And I AM DONE. It takes a while, but once that card turns over…

  • Amy

    I discovered Dorothy Parker in college and when I stopped by my grandmother’s house with her book of poetry, my grandmother took it from me. She gave me money to go buy myself a new copy, saying that she had to have because she absolutely loved Dorothy Parker. I do too. I think her work speaks to women of all generations in a very unique way.
    You should look into your personality type according to Myers Briggs. I am an INFP, the idealist. And when I’m done with a situation, it is extremely difficult to make myself continue. Walking away without saying a word is a classic move for this type! And it does take a lot for me to reach breaking point as well. It’s all very interesting to me. :)