The Post Where I Don’t Beg For Votes

January 29, 2013 47 Comments

Have you seen this little image around? Adorable Chaos is entered in the Circle of Moms Top 25 Funny Mom Blogs Contest. Weird, right? Because I’m not ROTFLMAO funny. I’m hardly LOL funny. Sometimes I’m not funny at all. Sometimes I’m JOABA (Jump Off A Bridge Annoying).

I know this.

You may want to have a look at the list if you need a good laugh. Many of the women in the contest are awesome and hilarious every damn day.

There’s also a popular sub-genre of mom bloggers in the contest. They may be drunk. They may refer to their kids as their evil spawn or little bitches.

And now I’m about to step in it here.

I’ve been holding this in for a long time because I don’t want to get thrown off the cool mom’s booze cruise.

Drunk. Bitter. Constantly complaining about their hideous, awful offspring. I don’t think it’s funny. Could their kids really be that bad? And how does complaining about it help? And do they really want their kids to grow up thinking they were merely a pain in their mom’s ass?

That may sound all holier than thou – but that’s not my intention. I’m often bitter. I complain too. But ripping on the kids? That type of humor makes me feel bad. Kids don’t deserve to be belittled publicly by the people who are supposed to love them most.

I know I’m hyper-sensitive. I cried at the movie Joe Dirt. I thought it was heartbreaking that his parents left him in a garbage can and drove away. I know it was meant to be funny, but it wasn’t to me.

Maybe I could get the hang of putting out all that anger and bitterness about parenting, ripping my kids a new a-hole daily (that I will have to wipe anyway), but damn it! It’s just not who I want to be.

So I guess I can be on the list of 25 Not That Funny Mom Blogs. But I don’t think I’m the best at that either. Maybe the list for the 25 Hyper-Sensitive Mom Blogs? Or the Best 25 Niche-less Mom Blogs?

Ultimately, I hope to make a few people smile now and then. And maybe feel a little hope. And know that they are not alone no matter how often the trials of parenting makes us cry.

After all this soul searching, I’m able to be breezy about the contest. Wanna vote? Yeah? By all means, do so. Not into voting? Think I don’t belong in the contest at all? No prob. I’m not going to yell and scream. I may even agree with you.

See, I’m breezy.

Oh, and one last thing. Our time with our kids is short. When you’re 90, and peeing yourself randomly, dribbling food all over your face and wishing someone would show you a little respect once in a while…your kids may choose to blog about it. They may post pics too. Of course, you won’t know, because the nursing home they chose for you doesn’t have WiFi. Or private bathrooms. Or edible food.

Be excellent to each other. [Now strum your air guitar if you got that reference.]

I got it! I can be on the list of Top 25 Mom Blogs That Use Obscure 80′s References That No One Gets!

Filed Under: Motherhood Tagged With: blogging contests, funny mom blogs

About Amy

Professional freelance writer. Homeschool mom of three girls. Introvert and rebel. Life learner. Coffee addict.

http://twitter.com/jdeneen4 Julie DeNeen

Gulp. That’s a good gulp – like a big swig of beer on a hot summer day gulp. Not the cough medicine kind of gulp. Whew. But you make a lot of points that will probably piss a fair amount of people off! LOL BUT – and that’s a big BUT – you wrote it well. It’s true. You’re right. And don’t let anyone tell you differently. Now excuse me while I go publicly embarrass my kid. Snort. xox
http://janinehuldie.com/ Janine Huldie

I am one of those moms that does complain a bit on my blog, but I guess in my defense this is my sounding board and a place I come to that is all mine. I totally get what you are saying and do think you are right, but my sarcastic humor is just me and in real life this is just me take it or leave it I suppose. I do hope I don’t offend others, but then again as Julie has said in the blogging world you are bound to offend others from time to time. Very good post and you do make some very sound valid points here.
http://amylandisman.com/ Amy

OMG! Janine – I was not thinking of you in any way here! You are the nicest blogger around! You hardly complain and I don’t think you have ever made fun of your kids in a hurtful way at all. And your sarcastic humor never seems offensive. I feel terrible now.
http://amylandisman.com/ Amy

I think I should just take this down now. I was not thinking of you either! Honestly, there are blogs that I try to read and then leave because I can’t take the kid bashing. I never feel that way when I read your blog! You usually talk about the things they do that are hilarious – but not humiliating. Crap. I hate upsetting friends. And I hate pissing people off.
http://janinehuldie.com/ Janine Huldie

Omg, Amy I didn’t take it that way and truly don’t want you to take this down or think that. I just know sometimes I do complain and just can’t help myself. I feel bad now. because I swear I didn’t mean it like that or to make you feel bad. Seriously, I am sorry and hope you know that I totally think you made some great points here. This truly was one of those posts that makes you sit up and think. You did a great job here and know that I totally respect your thoughts on this
http://amylandisman.com/ Amy

Okay, well I’m so glad you didn’t take it that way! I was so worried. And thank you for being so supportive -all the time.
http://janinehuldie.com/ Janine Huldie

Not a problem and seriously just happy to have you as a friend on here
Kerry Guptill Kosky

Amy, I don’t kid bash either (my only “child” is 47 and he, his wife and I live together)…I am afraid to write about them…they may “granny dump” me!! And, like you, I love the way Julie, Janine and the other BBs write about their children.
I do tend to bash winter though. I love all your posts!!! Well, you already know that…I have told you before!!!
Stacy Harris

I thought this was great. I never entered the contest. Why? Partially because I don’t really find myself in the mom blog niche. Do I write about my kids… sometimes…. but mostly I write about whatever enters my mom. And more importantly, while I might think some of it is satire type humor, I do think it comes at a cost…. you know – the cost of therapy bills as your kids realize you have done nothing but make fun of them their whole entire childhood. And don’t get me wrong, i have more than once probably complained and made fun of my kids. But I think you are right on. We need someone to wipe the drool from our face when we are older and I don’t want my kids blogging about it either!
http://twitter.com/OhBoy_Mom Emily Cappo

I’m so with you on this Amy…I think there are a slew of mom bloggers out there who think they have to curse and make fun of their kids to be funny and I agree, it makes me a bit uncomfortable, even if some of it IS amusing. I suppose I’m already censored from possibly doing that to my kids because they are old enough to give me lots of flak if I speak about them unkindly. I wonder if these moms will regret their humor when their kids are older…it seems as if a lot of that crass humor comes from the moms whose kids are very young right now. I love your posts because they always make me think so yeah I’ll vote for you on that Hyper-sensitive list (and I’ll still vote for you on the Funny List too, because yes you can make me laugh as well!)
http://amylandisman.com/ Amy

Thank you, Kerry! I love to winter bash too! It’s one of my favorite hobbies!
http://www.suburbansnapshots.com Suburban Snapshots

I wrote a post very similar to this one a couple of years ago, I was so tired of one specific blogger constantly posting about how horrible her kid’s behavior was, how tough her day to day life was. And then, through this community, I got to know her as an actual person, and came to realize what her motivations really were, and got to know her for our interactions and not just based on MY interpretations of her blog posts, and I learned the parts of her life that she didn’t blog about, because even the most up-front bloggers have private issues, and I climbed right back down off my high-horse.
http://www.LetMeStartBySayingBlog.com/ Kim at Let Me Start By Saying

People being mean is one thing. People releasing a bit of stress and begging to hear that others feel the same frustrations is another. It is always easy to quickly scan someone’s Facebook post or Tweet or blog post and gasp “Oh my goodness! How mean!” But there’s always more to the story, more to the blogger, more to the woman.
Sometimes the kind thing to do is assume that the blogger is looking for people to connect with after years of no sleep, months of too much responsibility, weeks of relentless stress, a moment that puts them over the edge of sanity.
Sure, there are mean people out there. I’ve met them, and…ick. But there are a lot of nice people, good moms, out there who deserve a bit of our understanding, rather than judgement.
http://canigetanotherbottleofwhine.blogspot.com/ Kate Hall

Good for you for expressing your opinions. I’ve come to realize that different people have difference senses of humor. There are things that I don’t like or get about certain humor bloggers, so me being the passive person that I am, I just don’t read those blogs. But then I know that there are people who think my blog is garbage because I talk about bowel movements and farting and that’s repulsive to them, as well as perhaps a cheap joke. I’m sure I’ve turned people off with that. So I assume they don’t get my humor and/or don’t find it funny. And I assume they’re no longer reading. C’est la vie.
Jane Marsh

<3
http://amylandisman.com/ Amy

Thank you for this. I appreciate what you are saying here. I am mostly a live and let live type of person and I just avoid the types of blogs that upset me. I didn’t mean to come off as so judgmental and I think my regular readers can see that, because they also know me. They know that my passion for being a respectful parent is what drives me much of the time. And in this post, I am being disrespectful to other moms who are probably struggling, just like the rest of us. So you have knocked me off my high horse.

To clarify, I think that my main point was that I think that a lot is at stake when we are publicly critical of our children and that they ALL deserve better, no matter what.
http://twitter.com/BPMbadassmama BadParentingMoments

Before I toss my penny into the fountain, I want to state that I’m not nominated. I have nothing to lose or gain. Almost one year ago, shortly after the birth of my fourth child I began writing about motherhood. What it means to me. The sweet and sour. I have a corresponding humor page based on the not so glamorous aspects of my daily life with 4 ages 6 and under. There is humor. There is sarcasm. There are failures and successes. There is always love. The online persona of a blogger and the tone a blog or page takes does not a mother make. I imagine that all craft bloggers are not crafting with their children all the time. I imagine that food bloggers take their families out to eat. I’m a mother who loves her children madly. My humor may not be everyone’s cup of tea. That is ok. But, to post as if there is a right or wrong way to creatively differ is unsportsmanlike. To call out others you are nominated with is not “being excellent to one another.” I’m willing to bet every mother on that list rocked their babies when they were sick and loves their children just as much as you do. Being excellent to one another often means supporting your other mothers. I will extend that courtesy to you and will give you a vote as I’m sure there is more to you than this particular post. I hope you will pay it forward and offer some of the women you speak of here the same.
Rachel Harper

Agree with you Amy. I think that some humor about the little ones at their expense is okay, but some people do it all day, every day, and are ruthless. I don’t even have kids and I imagine them stumbling upon mommy’s blog ten years down the line and crying.

I think there’s a fine line between venting as a mother (normal, acceptable, fine) and COMPLAINING about being a mother, some almost seem annoyed they’re moms.
http://amylandisman.com/ Amy

I was talking about people being mean. I’m talking about women saying things about their child that -if said to their face- would be borderline verbal abuse. And you are right, they are probably looking to connect and feel better about their struggle. But what if they do this just to be popular? Is that a possibility? That they feel like they need to rip on their own kids to get more page views? Is that okay? From the child’s point of view, probably not.
We all vent, myself included. That’s not where my issue lies. For me, being respectful to my kids is important. I know that’s not mainstream. I hurt when I hear moms talking about their kids with disgust, as if they are these vile little intrusions on their lives. I can’t really help that.

A month ago I stood at a memorial for a 6 year-old boy in Newtown. I looked into the eyes off his mother. And I have an entirely new appreciation for the time I have with my kids. They should all be treasured.
http://www.suburbansnapshots.com Suburban Snapshots

My page loses people en masse anytime I say ‘vagina’.
http://amylandisman.com/ Amy

First of all, I didn’t “call out” anyone. I said that there were many popular bloggers who seem to focus on drinking, complaining and ripping on their kids. And then I went on to say that I can’t do that -that I won’t make it in this genre of bloggers because it isn’t me.

I have no problem with sarcasm. Or venting. Or passion.

But calling your kids a little fuck-wad? Um, yeah, I think that’s wrong. Do you really think that’s a cool thing to do? What does that say to a kid? Would you say it to their face? And watch it crumble?
What about being excellent to our kids? And is publicly humiliating them (whether they know it or not) being good to those babies you love and rocked?

I was not telling anyone how to express themselves. I was stating that I wouldn’t do something that could potentially hurt my child, when my job is to love them.
ttoombs08

Most Excellent Post, Bill! I have to agree. I think the ones you refer to are doing it because it’s popular and trendy. I love my little guy…a LOT! And I don’t think I’ve ever belittled him. Yeah, I might have complained about handing me poop. But it was more “ugh, GROSS” than “look what my dumb kid did!”

I’ve stopped reading a majority of the bloggers that constantly complain. If they are so miserable, maybe they should take some of the money they are making off of their blog and go to counseling.

I don’t care if you’re funny or not. You are my friend and I try to vote for you and all the other Bloppy Bloggers that threw their hat into the ring on a daily basis (between handfuls of poop and writing my own miserable, whiny blog posts). Keep up the good work, Amy.
http://www.LetMeStartBySayingBlog.com/ Kim at Let Me Start By Saying

People never stop surprising me, so I’m guessing the answer is yes, yes some people might exaggerate their tone to seem meaner just for popularity. I imagine that will come back to bite them in the butt some day.
I knew since I was 15yo that I might not be able to have kids. My son was gift. My daughter was a miracle. I’ve always, always wanted them, and thank my lucky stars I get to have them. I lost my nephew, so I get how fragile life is. I do. But I also hope that I am allowed to vent and shake my head at how I can love these kids so much it hurts, and yet get driven crazy at the same time. Motherhood is complicated, so it’s always good to err on the side of tolerance.
http://www.wrinkledmommy.com/ Deb McCormick

I beg to differ with your idea of not being funny enough.. You made be chuckle from the start with “I’m JOABA (Jump Off A Bridge Annoying).” Sometimes mild humor is the best kind. Great post!
http://twitter.com/BPMbadassmama BadParentingMoments

I must have misunderstood you specifically stating that there was a sub-genre of bloggers in this particular contest as calling them out. From this reader’s point of view, that is how it appeared. We’re all moms. And, this is blogging. This is humor. We’re not curing cancer. We’re live journaling. We’re all just trying to find our way and have our own voice. Whether or not that is something you love or dislike, it’s still a creative outlet for people. I’ve never seen bloggers refer to their children the way you did above. I’m seen writers trying to find humor in exasperation. I’ve seen support on hard days. I’ve seen attempts at trying to make light of overwhelming situations. I’ve seen acceptance and folks with differing opinions politely agree to disagree. I have a feeling we will do the same. Good luck to you.
Cyndi

Knowing you and knowing your heart, Amy, I know this post is totally about the children. I always feel like if I wouldn’t say something to someone’s face, I’d NEVER publicly post it for all to see. That post about my dog and I call him “Ass-Brown?” Haha, I lovingly tell him that all the time. But, really, I think about some of the pictures people post and the derogatory remarks and then I think, but what happens when that kid gets into school and his friends find these posts? *sigh* You keep on keepin’ on!
http://amylandisman.com/ Amy

Thank you Terrye! For knowing Bill and Ted and being my friend. And your posts are never miserable, always funny masterpieces!
http://amylandisman.com/ Amy

Yes. You did misunderstand. That was a statement. If I were going to call anyone out I would have been far more direct about it. And no, we are not curing cancer here. But I like to think that if I can use my voice in a positive way, that I am doing something worthwhile. I’m not trying to stop anyone from expressing themselves. I’m glad you have never seen a blogger belittle or make fun of their child. I have.

I simply think kids deserve respect, especially from their own parents. I’m not sure why you don’t see that or why you are so defensive about this. And yes, we will have to agree to disagree. I wish you luck as well.
http://amylandisman.com/ Amy

I have nothing against venting. I think we need to do that! My issue was with saying things that we wouldn’t say to our kids face, or saying things about them that, if said by a classmate, would be considered bullying or inappropriate. We can vent without doing any harm. We can talk about all of our challenges as moms without hurting our kids. At the end of the day, it’s our relationship with our kids that matter most -not our ranking in a contest or our traffic stats.

So, maybe I should have kept my mouth shut about all of this and been more tolerant, but it actually weighed heavily on my mind. It was not meant to hurt anyone.
http://amylandisman.com/ Amy

Thank you, Deb! I think this of those JOABA posts though, that gets under some people’s skin and irritates, badly! But thank you again.
http://amylandisman.com/ Amy

Thanks Cyndi, for understanding. I really do worry about things like that- it’s hard enough to be a kid these days. They need all the mom love and support that we can manage.
ttoombs08

It is my privilege to be your friend. And you are far too kind.
ttoombs08

Dang, I need to try that! LOL
ttoombs08

I’m with you, Stacy. I don’t see myself as a “mommy blogger.” More like a mom that blogs about crap that no one reads.
Ruchira

I kinda agree when parents keep ranting about their kids and broadcast their behavior over web. I seriously don’t think they are getting my votes cause being a parent is the prime job and they ought to do that first and then rant about it in public…

Homeschooling is not easy, and Amy you are doing an incredible job! Hugs!
http://www.facebook.com/debbie.c.mccormick Debbie McCormick

sorry to hijack this thread – but I said the word nipple in a post yesterday and woke up this morning with two less Likes on my FB page.
Melanie Chisnall

That’s why I love your blogs so much. Because you tell it like it is. I have to agree with you…a little complaining here and there is funny, but if it’s constantly in every single post…I mean, what are the kids going to think if they get their hands on that one day. I’d be a mess if I had to find something like that. Don’t think people thing it through sometimes to be honest. Hopefully your post reaches a few if they do this. And glad you entered the competition as well, you do have me LOL’ing sometimes with your words!
http://twitter.com/SaidKristin Kristin Alexander

I love so many things about this post. The Bill & Ted reference, the Monica from Friends reference (“I’m breezy!”), and the fact that you called out these mom bloggers who constantly complain about, belittle, and outright disrespect their kids ON THE PUBLIC INTERNETS! That shit is forever, yo. They will one day be able to Google themselves and read it. Or their friends will be able to Google it and read it – which is almost worse. This line in particular stuck out at me: “Kids don’t deserve to be belittled publicly by the people who are supposed to love them most.”

Look, I poke fun at my kid plenty on my blog, but always in a loving and [usually] self-deprecating way. Because as Erma Bombeck once said (and I paraphrase), “The key to good writing is making fun of yourself before you make fun of others.”

I’m also nominated in the Circle of Moms contest. But if that’s what it takes to get ahead and be considered “funny,” meh… no thanks.

Also, I love that you cried at Joe Dirt.
http://twitter.com/sellabitmum Tracy Morrison

Thank you for writing this. Thank you. Thank you. I’ve been wanting to say this for months but fear public flogging. Can we be best friends??? xoxoxo
http://twitter.com/Jen_P_Williams Jennifer P. Williams

So there’s that saying about not putting anything on the internet you wouldn’t want your boss.. or grandmother to see. I think some moms need to remember that one day their children will be able to read and think about if that is the message they want to leave them with.
Arnebya

Hell, I probably am drunk. And I probably do sometimes think my kids are little heathens. But you know what, I created them and I have NO clue what I’d do without them. Probably be mo’ drunkerer. I get the desire to be on a list (I’m funny, really I am. OK sometimes I’m funny. OK shut up, I’m the only one laughing but you get my point. Lists are cool.) I’m rambling now but what I really want to say is how can it be the best of 2013 and 2013 just started? I AIN’T EVEN RAMPED UP MAH FUNNY CAUSE I’M STILL FIGURING OUT WHAT RESOLUTIONS TO LIE ABOUT.
Kristin S. (@AustinKVS)

Please don’t take down this post, Amy! I liked it. You’re not bashing anyone, you’re just saying how you feel and what you prefer. That kind of humor works really well for some people and not others, just like my writing doesn’t work for everyone.
Robin @ Farewell Stranger

I will add my voice to those backing you up to say this is great. It’s not about whether or not those women love their kids just as much and rock them when they’re sick, etc. It’s about how they talk about them in public, and some of it is just not okay. I totally get that we need to vent sometimes – hell, I need to every day. But that’s not how I do it, even if it would make me seem more funny. (Sorry, I somehow managed to put this into italics and now I can’t get it to stop.)
Kristi Campbell

First, and perhaps most importantly, anybody who doesn’t know the quote “Be excellent to each other” missed out and should go learn about Bill and Ted. Today, people.

Second, I love how you wrote this post. This popularity contest is driving me crazy. Your attitude about it seems so healthy (vote for me or not), whereas I’m allowing this really stupid thing get to me. I’m actually bummed that my 4-month old blog is hovering down there in the mid-90′s. And you know what? I’m ashamed of that, because to get on some top 25 list is not why I started blogging. I began blogging to connect with moms. And connect with really awesome moms I have. Thank you for the reminder.

Third, wow to the comments. I didn’t feel like you were calling anybody out. I think it’s fun to vent our frustrations. Sharing poop disasters and frustrations with our online sisters is funny and therapeutic. With that said, I cringe when I see moms type horrific insults to their kids, too. I can’t imagine a child ever thinking it’s funny that his mom calls him a fuckwit when he reads her blog later (which he will).

Applause to you, woman. By the way, I voted for you. And I will again, and again, too.
http://amylandisman.com/ Amy

Thank you for the support on this AND for knowing Bill and Ted! My blog is hovering in the 90′s at the moment too and I’m slipping everyday, but I’m trying really hard to let it go! Some of the moms in the contest have been blogging for years – so a four month old blog with a following is impressive.

I don’t do “funny” all the time – sometimes I write about serious stuff too, so maybe it isn’t even appropriate for me to be on the list at all. But thank you for the vote and I’m glad this silly contest has helped me connect with mom bloggers like you!
http://amylandisman.com/ Amy

I was afraid of that too! I’m amazed by all of the support and I’m so glad I’m not the only one who feels this way. Yep, you found a new BFF!
http://amylandisman.com/ Amy

Thank you for getting the Monica reference! I think you were the only one. And I still take abuse from a few select people for crying over Joe Dirt! Thank you for the support on this and I agree, self-depreciating humor is the key!