Mama Needs a New Pair of Shoes

Dansko Nina

Spring is almost here. Summer will soon follow. I’ve nearly survived another winter in Connecticut.

We’re almost there.

I keep telling myself all this, but it’s  not making me feel any better.

In an attempt to pull myself out of my mid-winter blues, I’ve been looking at open-toed, colorful, summer loving shoes.

Don’t judge. We all have our ways of self soothing.

I’m not exactly on the forefront of fashion these days. I’m closer to the backside. That’s painful for me to admit. I buy shoes that have solid soles and a strong grip, so I don’t fall off of them, out of them and into anything disgusting. My style is…um…rustic? I like comfort. I need a supportive arch, because after giving birth to three babies, my arches have fallen (along with everything else).

And there is another element to consider when buying shoes. Self defense.

I’m serious. Think about it – what are a pair of flip-flops going to do for you if you’re locked in the trunk of a car? Attacked on the street? Have to chase your child through the wilderness and encounter some sort of wild animal or a flock of  Canadian Geese?

Have you ever gone up against an angry goose? They’re brutal.  A goose once attacked my daughter’s toes, right in her carriage for a cheesy cracker. I tried to stand up and fight it, but (wearing flip flops) I had turn and run to safety.

It was not a proud moment.

Now, I  take my self-defense advice from the most legitimate place of all: the pageant circuit. Here’s Miss Congeniality showing us how it’s done.  Notice what she’s wearing on her feet?

You can’t slam someone’s instep  efficiently if you’re wearing weak shoes. Your shoes are your secret defense. Attackers don’t know this.

The right pair of shoes can leave your feet fully armed (now that sounds odd) and still make the rest of you look taller, thinner and stylish. Maybe.

Here are a few pairs that I wouldn’t mind wearing this summer. I can’t decide which are the prettiest and the  most functional. Care to help me out here?

Which ones are your favorite? And which ones would allow me to drop a goose with one swift kick and still keep my balance?

 Loading ...

What do you do to pull yourself out  of the mid-winter blues?