Adorable Chaos

Motherhood. Homeschool. Life at Center-Age / Est. 2008

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Walking into Walls

We all have problems. That’s what I remind myself now, as I remember how I walked into a brick wall yesterday.

brick wall, white brick

Ever walk into a brick wall?

The first ten seconds hurt the most. Your nose stings, head spins as you try to comprehend what the hell just happened. Then the embarrassment  sets in when you realize you walked right into it.

Again.

I tell myself it came out of nowhere, but of course, I would’ve seen it if my vision wasn’t obstructed by trust. The wall was a friend. The moment of impact came when, in the spirit of being honest, a cruel comment was made about one of my little women.

Now, say what you will about me. Tell pe0ple my house is a mess and my car smells and my roots need a touch up.

But this?

This stung and stunned. And it broke my heart, both for my girl and my friend. She is not the woman I thought she was. And I turn into the dreaded Bobble-Head. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. My head shakes automatically. A weak smile crosses my face. I try to balance my body and search for my voice.

I turn away.

Then my heart cracks some more because I know that as mothers, as women, we need each other. Too often we are quick to judge, quick to speak, quick to injure without knowing the path or the challenges another woman is facing.

It’s a lost opportunity for friendship, connection and trust. A wall that could have been broken down and passed through remains.

She will reside on her side and I on mine, resolving to never be the bobble-head mom again.

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  • Karen Terry

    I saw your comment on my blog and came over to see if you had anything new posted. And there was this…a couple of weeks ago I had this happen to me. A woman I thought was a good friend was overheard saying something negative about my child. My first reaction was blind fury. I am very NON confrontational. Most of my battles take place in my head but this just infuriated me. I have been in a tizzy about it because we are friends, not best friends “tell each other everything friends”, but friends none the less. I like what you said about ‘we need each other’. Because we do. I am a single Mom and I don’t have tons of female friends. I am trying to look at it a different way after reading this. I don’t know what had happened in her life, her day. What place that came from. Anyhoo..before I leave a post instead of a comment, thank you Amy. I don’t know if this can ever be put completely behind me but I needed to read this today.

  • Melanie Chisnall

    Oh no Amy….I’m sorry. What a horrible way for someone’s true colours to show. I don’t know why people feel the need to put others down or say cruel things like that. Jealousy. Unhappiness in their own lives. Who knows. I probably would have done the same thing. Women can be so mean sometimes. 🙁

  • Amy

    Thanks Melanie. You would think by now I would not get so upset by this kind of thing. Maybe I never learn my lesson! Certain gossip, chatter or insults don’t hit me this way at all, but I’m really sensitive about my girls. I guess that’s the way it should be. 🙂

  • Amy

    I’m so sorry that you had this happen too! I’m generally non-confrontational (obviously, as a bobble-head!) but these are the times that I kind of wish I wasn’t. Still, I don’t want to rip into another mom either, because that doesn’t do either of us any good long term (though it might feel good in the moment!).

    I don’t know how easy it is to put it behind you – I’m certainly not there. I tend to let people go from my life after something like this. I don’t know if that is right for you and your situation. I know for me, I don’t want someone like that near me or my kids.
    And now I realize that I am being judgmental about this woman and not practicing what I preach! Ugh! I guess what I mean is that I can forgive, make peace with it, but not continue the friendship, if that makes any sense.

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