So.
I haven’t mentioned lately that my stage mom days aren’t quite over. The Butterfly (12) took the fall semester off from performing, but she decided to return to acting and voice lessons in January. The time off showed her just how much she missed being on stage and she couldn’t wait to get back to it.
Next week, she’ll perform as The Witch in Into The Woods Jr.
It’s her biggest role ever, and I’m freaking out a little. She’s doing a wonderful job in rehearsal, but I still worry. It’s big. She’s more prepared than she’s ever been for any of her past performances. I know she’s got this, but I’m still anxious. It’s been an ongoing problem for me, this stage fright. Every time one of my kids steps on the stage, I sweat, I stop breathing, then when they hit the high notes, or get a laugh, or pull off a difficult scene, I cry. Once the mascara is running, I breathe again.
Sometimes, during a show week, my stress level will get out of hand and I’ll have nightmares. Once, a nightmare had me on stage with no memory of my lines. In my panic, I couldn’t even recall what show we were performing. Last night, I had a nightmare that I was living in a tiny house, so my deep down worries are clearly elsewhere. {I know that tiny houses are all the rage, but in my dream I was desperately trying (and failing) to find a spot to hide my clothes before my friends arrived. I awoke in a cold sweat.}
Today, before rehearsal started, she and a friend gathered the cast together to do vocal warm-ups together. It was adorable. The cast is made up of a wonderful group of homeschoolers. The oldest in the cast is 16, the youngest is 4 and they all work together to bring the story to life.
She’s practicing her songs carefully.
I’m practicing my deep breathing.