It’s a rainy Friday afternoon. My house is trashed from a week of having work done on an upstairs bathroom. I’m amazed at how a little tearing down and building back up can cause a ripple of mess through the entire house.
But clearing out the old for something new and better is a lot like life: MESSY.
I feel content today, here in my mess. Things are changing a little in our homeschool and though it is hard to let go of the old – I’m quite attached to my relaxed ways -I can see that the direction we’re heading in is what we all need right now.
Next year my little women will be taking classes two days a week with a tutoring group / leaning collaborative (not a co-op). I don’t know exactly what to call this approach – possibly hybrid homeschooling?
The Adventurer (high school age) will be taking a rigorous course load of college prep classes, including a few AP classes. The Butterfly (now 10) will be taking all of her core classes there as well, including science and critical thinking. The Princess (7) will have 3 hours of classes twice a week that will cover all the bases. Classes will be very small, with 6-10 kids in a class, possibly less.
These changes may hurt a little at first as we all adjust. They have chosen this change. My priorities haven’t changed…I still want my girls to follow their passions. I feel like this program will allow them to do that, and still prepare them well for whatever their next step may be.
I feel a little relieved. Or a lot. Or like the weight of the world has been lifted off of my aching shoulders. Figuring out homeschooling high school by myself – while totally possible – was stressing me out. Making sure my younger two were getting everything they needed at the same time added more stress, because I was not convinced that they were getting enough intellectual stimulation, social interaction, or even attention from me.
I know in reality, they’re just fine.
Fine.
Fine isn’t always enough for me. We didn’t choose this path to be fine. I want them to thrive. Joyfully.
Am I asking too much? Maybe. Often I’m content to just get through the day, but that bad attitude spreads around here like the flu.
So yeah. I want more. And they want more.
Homeschooling looks different in every family. I refuse to look at this change as a failure. I simply know in my heart, at this point in my life, I cannot meet everyone’s academic needs.
I know my limits.
Algebra sucks even more the second time around. Next year my girl will take (among other things) Macroeconomics and AP Human Geography. Do you know what human geography is? I had to look it up.
I’ll still be here, working with them on the three days when they are not at classes, supporting their interests in their spare time (of which there will be plenty) and shuttling them around to see friends. This will also allow me to focus on the part of parenting that I happen to excel at: long conversations, listening, supporting, and encouraging.
I’m good at the love, especially when I’m not freaking out over math lessons. Building and maintaining a strong connection with my little women through the messy process of growing up will always, always be my priority.
So that’s the little change. Here’s the little love I promised.
