Blurred Around the Edges

I’d love to paint you a clear picture of where I’ve been or what we’ve been doing these past couple of months.  Can I simply say it’s complicated? Maybe we’ve been busy? We’ve been doing the things we always do, but for the past few months, I’ve been without words.  It’s a rare and strange place to exist.

In the midst of the ordinary, some people did some things. These things, they’re the kind of things I would expect if I was still in the seventh grade. I’ve been standing around with my mouth hanging open asking,  “What the hell just happened?”

The result? I’ve been suffering from an inability to process and reflect on the events in my life and translating them into anything useful at all, like wisdom, learning or an entertaining blog post.

Everything is blurry.

Now, I would love to share the stories. They aren’t earth shattering, they’re completely ridiculous. Yet, I’m in the position where I need to keep my mouth shut for the sake of someone else. I want to stand up for myself, but I need to stand down.   I hate it.

I will say these things instead.

If you think that following the lives of real homeschooling moms would make boring reality TV,  come hang out in my life for a week. If you think homeschoolers are meek, sweet, denim jumper wearing women, let me set you straight. Around here,  homeschool moms are powerhouses with master’s degrees in kicking ass (among other things). Some use their super powers for good and it’s amazing to behold. But we all know the universe demands balance, therefore some of these moms use their powers to rip up a friend with sarcasm or shred another woman’s reputation with blatant lies. And yes, the kids are effected by their shiny examples of smart assery,  judgy, and ethically questionable behavior.

Not that I would know.

Furthermore, I don’t care if judgy and assery are not in the dictionary.  I actually have many, many more words that I would like to use at this moment.

{Welcome home my beloved words! I have missed you so.}

My tongue is bleeding from biting it so hard. I’ve learned something valuable in all of this, right? Why yes, I have.

• Behaving like an adult is hard when you’re dealing with middle aged women channeling their inner adolescent bitches.
• You know those amazing, compassionate homeschooling moms who use their superpowers for good?  A few of them are my friends. And I’m so thankful to have them in my life.

And then there’s this-

“Conformity begins the moment you ignore how you feel for acceptance.” -Shannon Alder

That irks me more than the things that happened. But I’m not ignoring how I feel. I wrote this weird post as my quiet rebellion. And now I’m going to move on.

I’ve been so busy managing the drama that I haven’t had time to share any of the good. Here are some pictures of happy, peaceful things:

 

And one final thought for you and me and all the tender hearts…

Continue to be who and how you are.

 

 

*A personal note to Michelle -Thank you. You’re my hero.*